vstars Ch. 157 - This Is Poetically, Epically Absurd
Ch. 157 - This Is Poetically, Epically Absurd
"Chen Pi, go find someone else to place your bet. I'm kinda freaking out..."Xie Sunan's mouth twitched. You're obviously setting someone up to take the fall. No way in hell am I being the scapegoat.
Chen Shu patted him on the shoulder, his expression dead serious. "Old Xie, where's your courage?!"
"Give me a break—I don't trust you!"
Xie Sunan retreated several steps, rejecting him flat-out.
Dammit, when did he get smart?
Chen Shu raised an eyebrow. He'd have to find someone else to place the bet for him.
If he put money down himself, the bookie could easily trace it back to him. That'd be way too obvious.
"Xiao Xing, you're not betting?"
Chen Shu turned to Xu Xingxing beside him. This was a golden opportunity to rake in cash.
Xu Xingxing shook his head. "My family doesn't let me get into this kind of stuff."
"Fine! Guess this is a game for the brave!"
Chen Shu sighed, pulled out his phone, and started looking for someone with a bit more weight.
"Sis Fang Si, you there?"
"Barring any unforeseen incidents, I should be around for the next several decades."
"...I wanna make some money. Do me a favor."
Chen Shu laid out the whole plan.
"That's my little bro for you! Seeing how fearless you are, I'll only charge five million for the handling fee."
"..."
Chen Shu's mouth twitched. When one bandit meets another bandit, nothing ever goes smoothly...
"Sis, my Slime's just a baby. It needs a ton of resources to grow up! Cut me a deal?"
"Fine—four million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand."
"..."
In the end, Chen Shu coughed up the full five million. With his terminal case of OCD, he'd rather forfeit the ten-thousand-yuan discount than live with a non-round number.
If everything went to plan, he'd rake in fifty million. Even after the handling fee, that was a net profit of over forty million.
"Oh right, Sis Fang Si—is it raining over in the Capital? Did you bring an umbrella?"
"Yeah, I did. Why?"
"Oh. Then the rain was wasted on you."
"Get lost! You itching for a beating?!"
Chen Shu immediately hung up. As expected, the online version of me is a fearless god!
At midnight, Chen Shu had Xie Sunan monitoring the odds all evening.
Against all expectations, the odds didn't drop—they climbed, settling at 1:6.
He'd dropped ten million, but plenty of other people had also bet on him to win tonight.
"Five days from now, a huge payday hits my account."
"Hehehe~~~"
Chen Shu drifted off to sleep with a sly grin, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.
Xu Xingxing and Xie Sunan both shuddered. That laugh was genuinely unsettling.
...
Early the next morning.
Chen Shu headed to Nanjiang Fourth High.
The result was exactly as expected—another merciless beatdown of their students.
Watching the survivors question their life choices only improved his mood.
During interviews, he said whatever came to mind, prompting the TV crew to repeatedly remind him to "please maintain some decorum"...
Four straight days of challenges.
The outcome was never in doubt. Not a single person could hold their own against him. He'd even managed to wreck a Beast Taming Arena.
It was a repeat of Fang Si's rampage three years ago—only more vicious, more brutal...
The legend of the Nanjiang Great Demon King began to spread...
Day five.
Chen Shu arrived at Nanjiang Special Grade High. Despite the fancy name, it was really no different from any other school.
He was no longer wearing the 666 Potion Company promo shirt.
Instead, he wore a custom-made patchwork monstrosity—a riot of colors plastered with no fewer than eight corporate logos...
Starting from day two, sponsorship offers had come flooding in from other companies.
To maximize advertising value, Chen Shu had specially commissioned this abomination of a garment.
My man plays it West Coast style. Now THAT'S what you call layers![1]
"Attention, students! Surrender is your only option! Do not resist! I repeat—do not resist!"
The moment Chen Shu arrived at the Beast Taming Arena, he set down his loudspeaker without preamble.
The Special Training Class students were dead silent, looking like timid lambs.
The devastating defeats at the five previous schools had forced them to accept reality.
Can't beat him. Truly, honestly, can't beat him...
"Chen Shu!"
A student stepped forward, his eyes calm. "Today we admit that we can't beat you. But within six months, we will come to challenge you!"
Everyone in Nanjiang City believed that once they caught up to Chen Shu's Beast Tamer level, they'd naturally be able to compete.
What they didn't know was that at the end of despair... lay only more despair.
The power of cheats wasn't something human effort could overcome.
"Then hurry up and come at me all at once."
Chen Shu yawned.
His plan was to use the chaos of a group fight to have the Slime "accidentally" fail to brake, fly off the platform, and lose the match.
But just as he was looking forward to it, the student in front of him shook his head.
The student raised his right fist and began shouting at the top of his lungs: "Today, our Special Training Class chooses to withdraw from battle—not out of fear, but because the time is not yet ripe!"
His next words made Chen Shu's face drain of color!
"We surrender!"
Immediately after, the remaining nineteen students clenched their right fists and thrust them skyward, as if taking a solemn oath.
"We surrender!"
"We surrender!"
"We surrender!"
The spectators' jaws hit the floor, their minds going blank.
What in the poetic, epic fk?![2]
It was a surrender—so why did it feel so damn heroic?
And what was with those proud, confident faces?!
Chen Shu's jaw dropped too. He stared at the scene in stunned disbelief.
He felt the breath draining from his lungs. A cardiac episode was imminent.
He'd bet a full ten million yuan. Even accounting for the principal's six million and the sponsorship money from all eight companies, he'd still be two million in the hole.
"No! I object!"
The student replied matter-of-factly. "This is a legitimate surrender. Since when does the challenger get to object?"
"..."
Chen Shu was completely dumbfounded. Special Grade High's stunt had blown his entire scheme to pieces.
So in the end... the clown was me all along?
Chen Shu closed his eyes, thinking furiously. I have to goad them into fighting!
After a long pause, he cleared his throat and bellowed: "Could it be that Special Grade High is nothing but a school full of cowards?!"
His voice was deafening, drowning out the Special Training Class's "oath ceremony" entirely.
The students turned toward him, anger flickering in their eyes.
"A Beast Tamer's battles rely mainly on contract spirits—but if the master's character is cowardly, it'll affect the outcome all the same!"
"Take Tang Lie from our class. Distinguished family, A-rank contract spirit—the Wind Runner Beast. A genuine genius by any measure. And yet I've beaten him over and over, to the point where he's psychologically scarred."
Chen Shu's expression turned deeply earnest. "You think he gave up? You think he ran away?"
"Let me tell you—to this very day, he continues to fight against the forces of evil... uh... to fight ME to the bitter end!"
"THAT is the spirit a true genius should have! He may get knocked down by me, but he will never be defeated!"
Chen Shu's eyes shone with admiration. "I'd bet that within ten years—well, maybe twenty. Fifty at most. Definitely no more than a hundred—he's got a real shot at beating me!"
[1] 西海岸 (West Coast style): A Douyin/TikTok fashion meme where users show off ostentatiously layered or mismatched outfits while declaring "哥们玩的就是西海岸" (My man plays it West Coast). It parodies the "streetwear layering" aesthetic. Chen Shu applies it unironically to a Frankenstein shirt covered in sponsor logos.
[2] 离离原上谱 (lí lí yuán shàng pǔ): A mashup of the opening line of Bai Juyi's famous Tang Dynasty poem "Grass on the Ancient Plain" (离离原上草, "Lush grasses spread across the ancient plain") and the internet slang 离谱 (outrageous/absurd). The resulting phrase elevates "absurd" to poetic heights—hence "poetically, epically absurd."