vstars Ch. 70 - Aren't You Embarrassed at a Time Like This?
Ch. 70 - Aren't You Embarrassed at a Time Like This?
"Brother Wen, this isn't the time to be saying 'should,' is it?" Fatty's mouth twitched, panic flickering in his eyes.The slime before them was far too visually overwhelming.
What the hell did this thing eat to grow so massive?
The crew-cut youth's eyes gleamed with ruthlessness. "That doesn't matter anymore. Little Xiao's already dead—he'll never let us go!"
"Brother Wen and I will pin this thing down. Your Blue Bird needs to kill him first!"
They had three people on their side—numbers alone were enough to win. As long as they killed Chen Shu, his contract spirit would die with him.
"Time to sleep!"
Chen Shu gave his slime the command, then bolted out of the abandoned factory himself.
"After him!"
Fatty took off after him with his Blue Bird in pursuit.
Meanwhile, the slime began snoring away contentedly, its defense skyrocketing as it slept.
Although the two criminals were a Level 7 and Level 8 Beast Tamer respectively, actually hurting the slime would take considerable time.
"You won't get away!"
Fatty's eyes turned vicious as the blue bird shot forward.
In an instant, the bird's eyes flashed with azure light and its beak opened wide, launching several ice needles from within!
Ha~lle~lu~jah~
Chen Shu let his voice ring out in a full-throated shout.
"??" Fatty froze mid-step, completely baffled. What the hell is this guy yelling about?
Still, it didn't matter anymore. Looking at the ice needles flying through the air, his mouth curved into a cruel smile.
But in that very instant, a sharp claw appeared and crushed the ice needles to fragments!
"What the—?!"
Fatty jolted in shock as a nearly three-meter-tall blue Ice Wolf materialized before him, continuously exhaling white frost from its mouth with utterly intimidating presence!
"He has backup?!"
"Chen Shu, are you okay?" Xia Bing emerged from the bushes—the moment she'd heard the signal, she'd summoned her Ice Wolf to strike.
Chen Shu shook his head with a smile spreading across his face. "You hold off that bird. This fatty's mine."
He took a few quick steps back to the bushes and pulled out a blue urea bag[1], his mouth releasing a continuous stream of 'hehe' laughter.
Fatty's face went pale. He spun around instantly, trying to flee back to the factory while screaming at the top of his lungs:
"Don't come any closer!!!"[2]
Chen Shu closed the distance in three quick strides, charging forward with the urea bag in hand.
Fatty only managed to run a few dozen meters before the urea bag came down over his head.
BANG BANG BANG!
Chen Shu's fists clenched tight as he held nothing back, beating the man until he wailed in agony.
"Do you know your Uncle Chen's other title is the Nanjiang Bandit? And you're trying to act tough with me?"
"You actually tried to stab me with ice needles—don't you know I faint at needles?!"
Chen Shu unleashed a combination of punches and kicks until he finally vented his frustration, then knocked the man unconscious with one final blow.
All four criminals were on the Spirit Suppression Bureau's wanted list. Even if he accidentally killed one, he wouldn't face any consequences.
This was exactly why ordinary people feared the Spirit Suppression Bureau so much—once they set their sights on you, you were absolutely screwed.
"Crap! Something happened to Fatty!"
The two men inside the factory heard the commotion outside and immediately sensed trouble.
Could the Spirit Suppression Bureau have mobilized?!
Only then did they realize they'd been completely played: the slime, despite its massive size and shocking defense, was probably extremely slow—they could have just ignored it, especially since the factory gate was too small for it to get out.
"Take the other exit!"
Brother Wen reacted quickly, his only thought now being to escape as fast as possible with no intention of continuing the fight.
The two men exchanged a glance and led their contract spirits toward the exit at a run, only for a blue Ice Wolf to materialize instantly before them just as they reached it.
A bone-chilling cold swept over them as both men shivered in unison, and even their two contract spirits' movements slowed considerably.
This was the Ice Wolf's talent skill Ice Domain, which could reduce the speed of all enemies within a certain range.
"It's only a Level 6 contract spirit! Kill it!"
Both men's eyes flashed with ruthless determination as they commanded their contract spirits to attack.
The three contract spirits clashed, but despite its B-rank potential, the Level 6 Ice Wolf was extremely hard-pressed to fight two opponents in a cross-level battle and found itself in a dangerous situation within moments.
"Chen Shu!" Xia Bing's forehead beaded with sweat as she focused intently on controlling her Ice Wolf in combat, yet the situation remained precarious.
"Just control them for a moment!"
Chen Shu arrived on the scene at the same time, ordering his Golden Slime to use its Charge skill.
Xia Bing gave a slight nod as two deep azure lights appeared in the Ice Wolf's eyes.
Suddenly, a massive light circle appeared beneath its feet as ice-attribute power surged outward.
The Black Boar and Fire Elemental Spirit's movements ground to an instant halt. Unless they possessed a displacement-type skill, moving any significant distance in a short time would prove impossible.
BOOM!
The Golden Slime borrowed the power of its Charge skill to smash straight through the wall.
There was no helping it—it was simply too large. The only way to leave the factory was through its Charge skill.
The slime leaped into the air as its Violent Sitting Kill activated!
Both criminals' faces registered shock as they couldn't help but look up.
They saw sunlight shining down on the slime, coating it in a golden glow like some kind of sacred... giant turd.
BOOM!
Because of its massive size, the slime landed directly on top of both contract spirits!
"A Level 6 contract spirit thinks it can defy heaven?"
Neither man showed any concern as they exchanged a glance, preparing to activate their skills and blast right through the slime!
The Black Boar's eyes filled with berserk intent as it continuously made snorting sounds, as if preparing to unleash some ultimate move.
One minute passed...
Snort!
Five minutes passed...
Snort! Snort!
Silence fell all around them except for the Black Boar's snorting.
"I have to ask—in this kind of situation, aren't you embarrassed?"[3]
Chen Shu folded his arms across his chest with an utterly shameless smirk plastered on his face.
The crew-cut youth immediately realized it was the slime's doing. "Brother Wen, I can't use my skills."
The middle-aged man's Fire Elemental Spirit tried to release its skill with the exact same result—even the flames on its body had dimmed considerably.
The slime just felt like it was sitting on a heating pad...
Its Invincible Press Press Press could seal the skills of any contract spirit below Black Iron rank—provided it was sitting on them, of course.
Not only had one Invincible Press Press Press silenced both contract spirits, but it had silenced the two criminals as well.
"Xia Bing, leave the rest to me! Watch me beat these two idiots senseless..."
Chen Shu let out a 'hehe' laugh as he cracked his knuckles and swaggered forward.
"Kid, you looking to die?"
The crew-cut youth suddenly produced a gleaming knife in his hand, his eyes turning utterly vicious.
Chen Shu's body trembled dramatically as he executed a graceful about-face and returned to Xia Bing's side.
"I'm feeling kind of tired today. Let the Ice Wolf handle it!"
Damn it—actually pulling out a weapon? Absolutely no martial virtue whatsoever.[4]
"You really know how to read the room, don't you..." Xia Bing's mouth twitched, not expecting Chen Shu to retreat so decisively.
[1] "Urea bag" (尿素袋): A meme popularized by the web novel "The Undying Dragon" where the protagonist uses urea fertilizer sacks to blindside enemies, spawning the catchphrase "Eat my urea bag!" Chen Shu's use of this improvised weapon signifies his "dishonorable" street-thug fighting style over noble beast tamer dueling.
[2] "Don't come any closer!!!" (你不要过来啊): A viral meme from the 2002 TV series "Wind and Cloud" (风云), where actor Peter Ho screams this line while holding his dying lover. His exaggerated, hysterical expression became a massive reaction meme for fear and rejection—here turning a violent assault into comedy by framing the criminal as a helpless victim of Chen Shu's "villainy."
[3] "Aren't you embarrassed?" (这个时候你不尴尬吗): Meta-commentary on the "anime power-up" trope where long charging sequences (snorting, glowing eyes) lead to devastating attacks. Here, the enemy charges for five minutes only to do nothing because his skills are sealed—Chen Shu points out the awkwardness of the failed trope, breaking tension with deadpan humor.
[4] "No martial virtue" (不讲武德): A massive 2020 meme from Ma Baoguo, a self-proclaimed Tai Chi master who was knocked out in 30 seconds by an amateur. He released a video with a bruised eye, complaining that young people "have no martial virtue" and "ambushed" him. Deeply ironic here—Chen Shu (who uses sneak attacks, fertilizer bags, and group beatings) is the last person who should be lecturing about "honor."